As the crocodile narrowed its prehistoric eyes, serrated jaws gaping greedily, I started to wonder whether it knew about that crocodile handbag I had bought in the sales last year. When I remembered the matching shoes, I broke out in a guilty sweat. Crocodiles are the oldest living species on Earth (excluding Keith Richards). This is because they are perfectly evolved killing machines. Cows, kangaroos, sheep, tourists; they’re not fussy. And, judging by the way this one was snapping at my heels, crocodiles also have some serious anger-management issues. Then there was the fact that after a 24-hour flight to North Queensland, my dehydrated skin was looking dry; scaly even. Dear God! What if it wanted to mate? If I was going to spend time in the Tropics, I would have to get to a spa, and fast. The nearby five-star Thala Beach Lodge, set in 145 acres of wooded headland and secluded beaches, is less than an hour from Cairns international airport. The air is perfumed by the tang of the rainforest, the wind a warm caress of eucalyptus and frangipani, laced with the spicy scent of the sea. Every deluxe treehouse cabin has a view of either the Jurassic mountains or the dolphins and migrating whales of the Pacific. And the spa prides itself on a holistic, organic approach.